There’s weird, and then there’s American politics sleeping with the internet’s fart jar saleswoman weird. Welcome to 2025.
Stephanie Matto — former reality TV contestant turned flatulence entrepreneur, eater-for-hire, and online goddess of the grotesque — is packing her bags and skipping the States. The reason? She says her long-running, high-paying entanglement with a U.S. Senator has imploded, and now she’s fearing for her life like it’s a Cold War spy thriller with OnlyFans subscriptions.
“I do not feel safe,” Matto told her Instagram disciples earlier this month, and not in the usual post-breakup-with-a-politician-and-receive-deportation-threats kind of way (though, yes, that’s allegedly part of it too).
This isn’t satire. This is America.
According to Matto, she was involved in a year-and-a-half-long, camera-on romance with an unnamed Republican senator. Not a Tinder fling. Not a passing DM. We’re talking pay-per-view mukbangs for Washington’s elite — a digital sugar arrangement where, in her words, “he pays me lots of money to watch me eat food.”
A senator. Watching her eat. Paying “lots of money.” Just let that hang in the air like one of her infamous jarred farts.
Matto, no stranger to the viral spotlight (she made headlines in 2021 for literally bottling her bodily gases and selling them to fans), says things went south after she started dropping hints about her mystery man. The internet played detective. The senator, apparently, played victim.
“It kind of sent this man into a tailspin,” she said, implying that the unraveling senator didn’t take kindly to the world connecting his name to the woman who monetized her digestive system. Allegedly, he went full scorched earth — three cease-and-desist letters from high-powered lawyers, a scrub-the-internet campaign, and even threats that touched her family, including whispers of deportation.
We’re talking full panic mode from a man elected to represent the people. But it’s the people’s voyeurism that may have triggered his downfall.
“I was fearing for my life and my family’s safety,” Matto revealed. “So I chose to wait until after the election to see which political party would be in power.”
She claims she nearly outed him during election season — the nuclear option — but kept quiet out of fear. Not loyalty. Not love. Fear.
With the political dust settling and the elephant still presumably in the room, Matto now says she’s making an international exit. “In the next month or so, I’m going to the Czech Republic and seeking some alternative living options because I do not feel safe right now,” she announced.
The situation reads like Bukowski woke up with a hangover in a Black Mirror episode. There’s no confirmation on which senator was involved, but her commentary strongly implies red ties and GOP ties. For now, the identity remains buried beneath NDAs, legal threats, and the bizarre code of silence that governs Washington’s more sordid indulgences.
But Matto ended with this: “I know in the online eating food community, I am not the only person who has dealt with this person… Some of these people are not afraid to come forward.”
Translation: the senator might be sweating more than just a reelection campaign.
This story has it all — sex (sort of), power, money, danger, and the haunting reminder that the people pulling the country’s strings are the same ones quietly Venmo’ing influencers to chew on dumplings in slow motion. The internet is the new Versailles, and the emperors are watching from burner accounts.
Stay tuned. If Matto’s telling the truth — and let’s be honest, America loves a good sex-and-politics scandal — this story isn’t over. It’s just beginning.
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Last modified: May 2, 2025
