Brandi Glanville, the 52-year-old high priestess of reality television chaos, reemerged poolside like a Botoxed phoenix from the Beverly Hills ashes this week, locked in rooftop revelry with none other than adult film icon Alexis Texas. Yes, that Alexis Texas—AVN Hall of Famer, rear-end renaissance woman, and now apparently, Brandi’s “new bestie.”
The two bombshells were seen lounging under the Southern California sun, bikinis blazing—Brandi in a leopard-print two-piece slashed with hot pink, Alexis in soft lavender that did nothing to dull her porn star gleam. It was a social media moment forged in silicone and sun oil, but beneath the glam, there’s a war quietly raging under Brandi’s skin. Literally.
Fresh off a mysterious ER visit where her head and neck allegedly locked up like a rusted hinge, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum is claiming a “facial parasite”—her words, not ours—wrecked her face, and she’s laying blame at the feet of a COVID vaccine reaction. The alleged parasite has left “hard lumps” on her cheekbone, jaw, and neck. Her weapon of choice? Not exorcism. Not surgery. But the elusive 4D laser facelift, administered inside her actual mouth by stem cell whisperer Dr. Joy Kong.
“Oh Brandi got a facelift!” she mocked on her Unfiltered podcast. “But it’s not, it’s a laser guys. It takes like what—an hour? And it’s not painful.”
Glanville, ever the beauty warrior, admits to being a self-proclaimed “beauty junkie,” one whose face has been microwaved by “every laser under the sun.” But this latest treatment? She calls it genius. Says it even pulled the skin tight around her eyes like a reverse hangover. It’s the aesthetic equivalent of duct tape and divine intervention.
Meanwhile, the woman has dropped over $113,000 chasing a cure. Antibiotics, steroids, antivirals—none of it sticking. She says there’s still “some sort of infection somewhere,” a phrase that sounds more like Bukowski describing a failed marriage than a medical update.
And yet, sunglasses on, bikini high, she teases a new episode of Unfiltered featuring her pool partner Alexis Texas, captioned: “She came for the pod and stayed for the vibes.” In this town, that’s basically wedding vows.
But the tabloid poetry doesn’t end there. While Brandi was riding a gurney into Kaiser Permanente’s ER, frozen like a mannequin on Xanax, her ex-husband Eddie Cibrian was off somewhere celebrating 14 years of photogenic marital bliss with second wife LeAnn Rimes. The Grammy-winning songbird took to TikTok to declare, “The heart knows when the search is over.”
Ouch.
Still, Glanville isn’t done swinging. On April 10, she dropped the music video for Remedy, a pop-drenched anthem she recorded with RIP Youth frontman James Maas and Aussie singer Beks. This, despite telling fans she hasn’t had sex since October 2023—which in Brandi years is basically celibacy.
So here she is: sun-kissed, semi-lifted, and surrounded by adult film royalty. Brandi Glanville might be nursing a face full of invisible enemies, but she’s still flashing her middle finger at Father Time—and probably Eddie too.
Celebrity News Porn Stars Reality TV
Last modified: April 30, 2025
